Three awesome review sites that have nothing to do with technology

File these under “the kind of sites you’d hope to land on while clicking through StumbleUpon in the late aughts.”

Afoolzerrand: An extensive database of chocolate milk reviews. (Alpenrose Swiss Supreme Chocolate Milk: “Much more sweet than chocolaty and has a beefy yet accessible 6% base– which pays dividends in the highly satisfying afterglow.” 9.5 out of 10.) Via Naive Weekly.

AppleRankings: As in, the fruit. (Red Delicious: “Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store.” 25 out of 100.) Via M.H. Williams on BlueSky.

The Mix Review: Excessively granular analyses of modern pop songs. (“Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter: “By changing the key of the second verse, the music rouses us listeners from our complacency with a jolt of novelty, but without any risk of rendering the verse’s underlying musical content less memorable.”) Found searching the web for “please please please modulation” because I was wondering if anyone else appreciated it, while also wishing someone had bestowed similar love upon the crunchy altered secondary dominant chord in “Feather.”