File these under “the kind of sites you’d hope to land on while clicking through StumbleUpon in the late aughts.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Afoolzerrand<\/a>: An extensive database of chocolate milk reviews. (Alpenrose Swiss Supreme Chocolate Milk<\/a>: “Much more sweet than chocolaty and has a beefy yet accessible 6% base– which pays dividends in the highly satisfying afterglow.”<\/em> 9.5 out of 10.) Via Naive Weekly<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n AppleRankings<\/a>: As in, the fruit. (Red Delicious<\/a>: “Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store.”<\/em> 25 out of 100.) Via M.H. Williams on BlueSky<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Mix Review<\/a>: Excessively granular analyses of modern pop songs. (“Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter<\/a>: “By changing the key of the second verse, the music rouses us listeners from our complacency with a jolt of novelty, but without any risk of rendering the verse\u2019s underlying musical content less memorable.”<\/em>) Found searching the web for “please please please modulation” because I was wondering if anyone else appreciated it, while also wishing someone had bestowed similar love upon the crunchy altered secondary dominant chord in “Feather.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" File these under “the kind of sites you’d hope to land on while clicking through StumbleUpon in the late aughts.” Afoolzerrand: An extensive database of chocolate milk reviews. (Alpenrose Swiss Supreme Chocolate Milk: “Much more sweet than chocolaty and has a beefy yet accessible 6% base– which pays dividends in the highly satisfying afterglow.” 9.5 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","iawp_total_views":4,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[7,6],"class_list":["post-208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-esoterica","tag-tab-dump","h-entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=208"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/208\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jarednewman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}